Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
