Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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