its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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