thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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