some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
