KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
