sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
