just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize