Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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