I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
