So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
me + whiskey = a bad person
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
