her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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