He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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