there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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