forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
