i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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