A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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