I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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