i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
