The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
