Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
bring money and cleavage
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
