you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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