just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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