No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
