God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
