Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
