I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
