I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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