i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
