Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
look no pants
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
