You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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