I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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