i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
