Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
