i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize