I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
