It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
