How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize