I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
