I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
