Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
