Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
