Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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