Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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