I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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