Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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