I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize