Sry I called you an 8
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My balls are so social today.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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