I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
