I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
