My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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