hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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