best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
