Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Please don't give away my fajitas
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