i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
