Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
