He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
