I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
