so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
