insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
