Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
