I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm just crazy horny about you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
